WHY TRICK-OR-TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10.  You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9.  If you get tired, you can wait ten minutes and go again.
8.  The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7.  You don't have to compliment the person who gave you the treat.
6.  It's okay when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you *are* someone else.
5.  Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4.  If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.
3.  It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2.  Less guilt the next morning.
1.  You can do the whole neighborhood.