WAYS TO GET RID OF A FROWN

Remember...that a frown is a smile turned upside down.  So if you're having 
an extra bad day and are sporting and extra large frown, here are a few 
things you can do to change your situation (not necessarily in order):

     1) Go out to some monkey bars and hang like a bat for a while.  Okay, 
	it probably won't make you immediately happy.  In fact, you will 
	probably feel nauseous before too long.  But if appearances are 
	important, then this is the thing to do.  People walking by will 
	look at you, see your 'smile', and think you're happy.  They'll 
	probably also think that you're a charter member for the chronically 
	stunned, but I guess you can't win 'em all, eh!
     2) Put hooks in your mouth at each corner and attach a huge flotilla 
	of helium balloons to each hook.  In this manner, you don't have to 
	hang around some playground all day.  As a matter of fact, you can 
	go about your daily business with the smallest of inconveniences.  
	Your colleagues may initially think of you as someone everyone in 
	the whole wide world needs to pray earnestly for, but if you do this 
	often enough, no one will likely notice after a time.
     3) Give up the hope of ever being able to smile again in this lifetime.
	Admission, after all, is the first step to recovery.  And the last 
	step?  Well, this being America and all, go buy a gun and start 
	shooting people you don't particularly like.  You no doubt will 
	begin to enjoy it, and when local law enforcement arrives and pops 
	you off, there will most likely be a smile on what's left of your 
	face. (warning: if this doesn't work the first time, it probably 
	never will...)
               
In closing, here is a good reasons why you should want to be able to smile 
(or frown) at will:

- If the hunk/babe you're about to kiss is grinning like a fool and you're 
frowning like an idiot (or vice versa), it hardly makes for a superior lip 
lock.  Okay, perhaps it sounds trivial now, but just you wait!!!

By Shelby Goertzen